May 10 17

White Hart, Stoke Newington High Street, N16

Jack Cutforth

Visited by: 6 May by JC & JB

Lots to like about this pub, especially if you’re here during Britain’s annual Not Too Cold Day, because it has a massive beer garden.

In the garden is a table tennis table for those who enjoy spending their time between strangers legs retrieving an errant ball (you know who you are).

But that’s not the only sport they’ve got in table form – there’s also fuzball, and pinball, which isn’t a sport in table form but I couldn’t be bothered to start a new sentence just to mention pinball.

There’s plenty of space inside, and a good selection of beers. They show sports if that’s your thing, and there’s a nice looking menu. Everything you need, then, for an enjoyable pub Saturday.

So what’s the catch? Well, there is one thing: it might take you all of time to get served. Instead of the tried and tested system of dividing the bar into areas, what seemed to be happening here was each member of staff serving someone, then looking around the entire bar asking who’s next with a slightly panicked air.

The problem with this is that it requires the general public to have the self awareness and decency to a) know when their turn is and b) only flag the bar staff down when their turn arrives. But you’ve just lived through 2016, so I don’t need to tell you that the general public isn’t exactly drowning in self awareness and decency.

Our regular readers will know that we are never ones for hyperbole, so you’ll believe us when we say that we quite literally nearly died of dehydration waiting to get served that night. Which, weirdly, has very similar symptoms to alcohol poisoning.

Anyway, if they sort out that one very annoying but easily solvable problem, they’d have a great pub on their hands.

Beer: 4
Price: 3
Service: 1
Atmosphere: 4

Do they do food? Nice looking menu.
Are they in the 21st Century? Contactless accepted.
Are there dogs? There were many in the garden.
I want to smoke: Impressively sized garden out back.