May 4 16

The Windmill, Mill Street, Mayfair, W1S

Jack Cutforth

Visited: Thursday 3 March by JB & JC

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These guys really love pies. Seriously. Check out this short two paragraph introduction on their website:

Pies are our passion. Our 3 x National winning steak pie is always available. We have traditional favourites such as fish pie, shepherd’s pie, chicken pie and vegetarian pies alongside ‘lip smackingly’ great seasonal pies that can be washed down with up to 8 cask ales.

We have a thriving pie club and our own YouTube channel where you can see exactly how our pies are made. Our hidden roof terrace, dedicated pie rooms and cosy bar make the Windmill the perfect place to escape the hustle and bustle of the West End.

That is TEN uses of the word pie in two paragraphs. That’s more than I use the word pie in a month.

When you ask for a pint at the bar in this place it’ll go something like this:

You: Can I get a pint?
Barstaff: Sorry, did you say pie?
You: No, pint of lager.
Barstaff: Oh sorry, it sounded like you said pie. Would you like a pie?
You: Just the pint for now thanks.
Barstaff: Nope, there it is again. I definitely heard pie.
You: I really don’t want a pie.
Barstaff: Alright mate, no need to pie off the handle. Do you want anything to drink with your pie?

BUT SHOULD YOU COME HERE IF YOU DON’T LIKE PIES?

Well, the short answer is yes. To be honest if you don’t like pies I would keep that to yourself if you value your safety, but the pub really is a good find even if you’re not a fan of enclosing savoury fillings in pastry.

It’s deceptively spacious, always a bonus when you’re this close to Oxford Street, and we had no problem finding a table on a Thursday night. There’s a decent selection of drinks on offer, with prices hovering around the five pound mark for a pie, I mean pint.

The staff are really friendly and there’s even a roof terrace – another enjoyable rarity in this part of town.

Definitely worth trying out for a drink. You might be pleastantly surpiesd. Yeah, that’s right. Groan all you want, I’M NOT SORRY AT ALL.

Beer: 4
Price: 3.14
Service: 4
Atmosphere: 3.14

Do they do food? Apparently they do pies, or something.
Are they in the 21st Century? Yep, contactless, no minimum.
Are there dogs? Dog friendly
I want to smoke: Roof terrace.
Televisions? Yup.