Jan 25 16

The Beehive, Durham Street, Vauxhall

Jack Cutforth

Visited: January 13 by GM & JC

BEE1

The mere mention of this pub conjures up images of a half-cut Amy Winehouse beckoning you back to Camden for some sweet sweet honey, but I’m afraid we’re going to have to add The Beehive to the list of things that sound much nicer than they actually are, like liquorice all sorts and dating strippers.

The Beehive is one of those places that was modernised in the late ‘90s in the image of Yates’, Edwards and other chain bars you could only get into while wearing your school shoes and a Fred Perry shirt, making it essentially a massive dance floor dotted with the sort of chairs you’d find in a doctors surgery. We suspect it burned brightest for a few years around the same time people on Come Dine With Me became obsessed with serving food in ramekins – and who remembers those?

A modest beer selection is probably to be expected, with Doombar and London Pride the draught ale selections. Both are served in their correct glasses, which you don’t see so much nowadays. We gave it extra points for our lovely barmaid, who sounded like Peggy Mitchell but looked like Anna Friel.

We originally planned on eating here, but the menu was pretty uninspiring and there was a 15 minute wait before we could order. Probably just so the oven could warm up, but I couldn’t shake the thought of the chef sitting on the toilet playing Candy Crush so we moved on fairly quickly.

Most of the other punters seemed to be there because it’s the closest pub without sawdust on the floor, including a tracksuited man who spent most of our visit talking to himself. He was either two Gazzas drunk, or someone we should feel bad about thinking was two Gazzas drunk.

Not a bad stop if you need to get in from the cold, but with other highly-rated pubs in the area, we’d give it a swerve.

Beer: 2
Price: 3
Service: 3
Atmosphere: 2

Do they do food? A fairly standard selection that didn’t inspire much confidence. Worth walking to the Vauxhall Griffin instead.
Are they in the 21st Century? Card payments abound, no minimum charge.
Are there dogs? We didn’t see any during our visit.
I want to smoke: There’s a decent sized smoking area out the back with a few wall-mounted gas heaters. Full marks.